Post by John on May 17, 2006 16:35:27 GMT -4
Blame Canada (and all the World Baseball Classic nations)
By Larry Dobrow
Special to CBS SportsLine.com
It's all the World Baseball Classic's fault. Everything.
High gas prices. Iranian nuclear recalcitrance. That speeding ticket I almost received for driving 75 mph in a 40-mph zone (telling the officer that I have "problem diarrhea" and was rushing to a nearby rest stop got me out of that one). The World Baseball Classic is to blame for all of this and more.
Like the state of your roto pitching staff. By whisking routine-dependent hurlers like Brad Lidge, Chad Cordero and Oliver Perez out of their spring-training cocoons, the WBC totally cornholed their 2006 chances. Jake Peavy's ERA has surged to an intolerably high 3.77. Think this would've happened if he'd been hanging out in Arizona and eating his every meal at Chili's? I think not.
Too, the WBC sank more than its share of able batsmen. Jason Bay hasn't been driving the ball, which is clearly attributable to the 15-odd days he spent with Team Canada. Plus look at the WBC participants currently residing on the disabled list: Derrek Lee, Moises Alou, Javy Lopez. Never mind that each went down courtesy of an in-game trauma of some sort. They played in the WBC and that's why they got hurt.
Had Hideki Matsui not bailed on his native Japan and ducked the tourney, imagine how much more severe his wrist injury would have been. One word: amputation.
Sure, WBC chuckers Johan Santana and Carlos Zambrano seem back on track after slow starts, plus even mechanics-impaired ace Dontrelle Willis threw well against the Bravos on Tuesday. And fine, maybe a few WBC guys are having mildly OK offensive campaigns: Albert Pu-hole, Andruw Jones, Miguel Tejada, Vernon Wells, Carlos Lee, Derek Jeter. But just as many aren't. Really. Ask anyone.
So I thereby conclude, with great vengeance and furious anger, that the World Baseball Classic is the root of all roto evil. Blaming others and misidentifying causation: It's the American way. Onto the SHDFBNE (SportsLine Hump Day Fantasy Baseball Double Ninja Extravaganza)…
Cut your losses
Ambiorix Burgos, Kansas City Royals: I drafted Burgos mostly because I wanted to hear our draft pooh-bah attempt to pronounce his first name (the closest he got was "em-BYE-rix-eee") and was happily surprised when the guy's first-month performance made me look un-dumb. Alas, as goes Ambi's control (six walks in his last four innings), so goes any chance that he'll pick up the few save scraps to be had in the Royals pen. Fare thee well, old friend.
Jeff Weaver, Los Angeles Anjelicas Huston: He claims he's overthrowing, that he's trying too hard to impress his new teammates and fans, that his problems (1-6, 7.40 ERA) can be solved with a simple mechanical adjustment, that opposing hitters (.306 BA and 12 HRs against him) are punishing his every mistake. Has anybody considered the possibility that he just sucks?
Be patient, fella
Marcus Giles, Atlanta Braves: Giles is 100 percent healthy roughly as often as Eddie Van Halen is 100 percent sober, so it's always possible that injuries are chipping away at his effectiveness. Either way, he's getting on base at a .327 clip (that's nearly 100 points above his batting average, always a good sign) and has gotten a bit frisky on the base paths (three steals in his last five games). When all is said and done, he'll equal or better last year's .821 OPS. Side note: tomorrow is his birthday, so remember to pick something up on your way home from the night shift at the granite pit.
For real
Mike Lowell, Boston Red Sox: It seems a little odd to put a battle-tested player with all of those prized veteran traits (grit! moxie! determinationisticness!) on a list of guys you can finally believe in, even if his abhorrent 2005 prompted the kid-gloves treatment. Now that Lowell is back to rapping doubles into the left-field corner and playing passable defense –- as opposed to last year's pop-fly/errant-throw fiesta -– he's worthy of everyday consideration once anew. And doesn't he qualify at 2B as well as at 3B? He does? O happy day!
Chan Ho Park, San Diego Padres: Numbers don't lie, except the home stadium radar-gun reading on Mariano Rivera's fastball (96 mph, my ass), and the numbers say that Chan Ho has pitched as well as teammate Jake Peavy this season. Compound this with the roomy home park in which he plies his trade and the sublime defense behind him (at least until Ryan Klesko returns, anyway), and there are precisely zero reasons not to expect him to be a solid contributor the rest of the way … well, except his staff-torpedoing performance over the last four seasons. Since you asked: Yes, I'm aware that this recommendation will quite possibly be the one that forever destroys my roto-guy credibility.
Sell high
Francisco Liriano, Minnesota Twins: The announcement that he'll be starting from here on out prompted cheers, tears of joy and, in certain quarters, the sacrificial offering of first-born virgins. And yes, within a year he will rank with teammate Johan Santana among the game's best lefties. Until he proves that he can consistently spot his fastball for strikes, however, his pitch counts will soar like so many mallard ducks. Smart owners will capitalize on the new-to-the-rotation euphoria and deal Liriano for a few vets. For what it's worth, if there were a roto Ten Commandments, "Kenny Rogers will always, always, always outperform sexy young rookie arms" would earn an enthusiastic thumbs-up from no less an authority than Moses himself.
Scott Kazmir, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: He's been positively slingy so far, and it's always fun to have a primo symbol of the Metsies' enduring incompetence on your roto squad. That said, Kazmir has averaged something like 111 pitches per start and, age-wise, sits right in the bull's-eye of what smarter people than me call the "injury nexus." Tread carefully.
Buy low
Eric Gagne, Los Angeles Dodgers: Remember him? Menacing facial hair, pulsating heavy-metal entrance, satanic glare, goggles of death? You've seen pictures. Upon his return next week, Gagne likely won't be anything near the untouchable roto deity he was between 2002 and 2004. But given the godless cesspool that is the Dodgers pen, he'll be given every chance to strut his stuff in roto-happy situations.
Matt Murton, Chicago Cubs: Huzzah to managerial slugwit Dusty Baker for finally acknowledging the obvious -– that it makes sense to place your best OBP guys towards the top of your batting order -– and subsequently inserting Murton into the 2-hole on Tuesday night. He hasn't flashed much power so far, but hitting in front of what passes for the Cubs' best hitters should ensure an extra fastball or two per at-bat. Plus, with Derrek Lee back in a month and Aramis Ramirez bound to awaken from his slumber any week now, the guy might actually score a run every so often. Baseball: it's not hard.
By Larry Dobrow
Special to CBS SportsLine.com
It's all the World Baseball Classic's fault. Everything.
High gas prices. Iranian nuclear recalcitrance. That speeding ticket I almost received for driving 75 mph in a 40-mph zone (telling the officer that I have "problem diarrhea" and was rushing to a nearby rest stop got me out of that one). The World Baseball Classic is to blame for all of this and more.
Like the state of your roto pitching staff. By whisking routine-dependent hurlers like Brad Lidge, Chad Cordero and Oliver Perez out of their spring-training cocoons, the WBC totally cornholed their 2006 chances. Jake Peavy's ERA has surged to an intolerably high 3.77. Think this would've happened if he'd been hanging out in Arizona and eating his every meal at Chili's? I think not.
Too, the WBC sank more than its share of able batsmen. Jason Bay hasn't been driving the ball, which is clearly attributable to the 15-odd days he spent with Team Canada. Plus look at the WBC participants currently residing on the disabled list: Derrek Lee, Moises Alou, Javy Lopez. Never mind that each went down courtesy of an in-game trauma of some sort. They played in the WBC and that's why they got hurt.
Had Hideki Matsui not bailed on his native Japan and ducked the tourney, imagine how much more severe his wrist injury would have been. One word: amputation.
Sure, WBC chuckers Johan Santana and Carlos Zambrano seem back on track after slow starts, plus even mechanics-impaired ace Dontrelle Willis threw well against the Bravos on Tuesday. And fine, maybe a few WBC guys are having mildly OK offensive campaigns: Albert Pu-hole, Andruw Jones, Miguel Tejada, Vernon Wells, Carlos Lee, Derek Jeter. But just as many aren't. Really. Ask anyone.
So I thereby conclude, with great vengeance and furious anger, that the World Baseball Classic is the root of all roto evil. Blaming others and misidentifying causation: It's the American way. Onto the SHDFBNE (SportsLine Hump Day Fantasy Baseball Double Ninja Extravaganza)…
Cut your losses
Ambiorix Burgos, Kansas City Royals: I drafted Burgos mostly because I wanted to hear our draft pooh-bah attempt to pronounce his first name (the closest he got was "em-BYE-rix-eee") and was happily surprised when the guy's first-month performance made me look un-dumb. Alas, as goes Ambi's control (six walks in his last four innings), so goes any chance that he'll pick up the few save scraps to be had in the Royals pen. Fare thee well, old friend.
Jeff Weaver, Los Angeles Anjelicas Huston: He claims he's overthrowing, that he's trying too hard to impress his new teammates and fans, that his problems (1-6, 7.40 ERA) can be solved with a simple mechanical adjustment, that opposing hitters (.306 BA and 12 HRs against him) are punishing his every mistake. Has anybody considered the possibility that he just sucks?
Be patient, fella
Marcus Giles, Atlanta Braves: Giles is 100 percent healthy roughly as often as Eddie Van Halen is 100 percent sober, so it's always possible that injuries are chipping away at his effectiveness. Either way, he's getting on base at a .327 clip (that's nearly 100 points above his batting average, always a good sign) and has gotten a bit frisky on the base paths (three steals in his last five games). When all is said and done, he'll equal or better last year's .821 OPS. Side note: tomorrow is his birthday, so remember to pick something up on your way home from the night shift at the granite pit.
For real
Mike Lowell, Boston Red Sox: It seems a little odd to put a battle-tested player with all of those prized veteran traits (grit! moxie! determinationisticness!) on a list of guys you can finally believe in, even if his abhorrent 2005 prompted the kid-gloves treatment. Now that Lowell is back to rapping doubles into the left-field corner and playing passable defense –- as opposed to last year's pop-fly/errant-throw fiesta -– he's worthy of everyday consideration once anew. And doesn't he qualify at 2B as well as at 3B? He does? O happy day!
Chan Ho Park, San Diego Padres: Numbers don't lie, except the home stadium radar-gun reading on Mariano Rivera's fastball (96 mph, my ass), and the numbers say that Chan Ho has pitched as well as teammate Jake Peavy this season. Compound this with the roomy home park in which he plies his trade and the sublime defense behind him (at least until Ryan Klesko returns, anyway), and there are precisely zero reasons not to expect him to be a solid contributor the rest of the way … well, except his staff-torpedoing performance over the last four seasons. Since you asked: Yes, I'm aware that this recommendation will quite possibly be the one that forever destroys my roto-guy credibility.
Sell high
Francisco Liriano, Minnesota Twins: The announcement that he'll be starting from here on out prompted cheers, tears of joy and, in certain quarters, the sacrificial offering of first-born virgins. And yes, within a year he will rank with teammate Johan Santana among the game's best lefties. Until he proves that he can consistently spot his fastball for strikes, however, his pitch counts will soar like so many mallard ducks. Smart owners will capitalize on the new-to-the-rotation euphoria and deal Liriano for a few vets. For what it's worth, if there were a roto Ten Commandments, "Kenny Rogers will always, always, always outperform sexy young rookie arms" would earn an enthusiastic thumbs-up from no less an authority than Moses himself.
Scott Kazmir, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: He's been positively slingy so far, and it's always fun to have a primo symbol of the Metsies' enduring incompetence on your roto squad. That said, Kazmir has averaged something like 111 pitches per start and, age-wise, sits right in the bull's-eye of what smarter people than me call the "injury nexus." Tread carefully.
Buy low
Eric Gagne, Los Angeles Dodgers: Remember him? Menacing facial hair, pulsating heavy-metal entrance, satanic glare, goggles of death? You've seen pictures. Upon his return next week, Gagne likely won't be anything near the untouchable roto deity he was between 2002 and 2004. But given the godless cesspool that is the Dodgers pen, he'll be given every chance to strut his stuff in roto-happy situations.
Matt Murton, Chicago Cubs: Huzzah to managerial slugwit Dusty Baker for finally acknowledging the obvious -– that it makes sense to place your best OBP guys towards the top of your batting order -– and subsequently inserting Murton into the 2-hole on Tuesday night. He hasn't flashed much power so far, but hitting in front of what passes for the Cubs' best hitters should ensure an extra fastball or two per at-bat. Plus, with Derrek Lee back in a month and Aramis Ramirez bound to awaken from his slumber any week now, the guy might actually score a run every so often. Baseball: it's not hard.