Post by John on Jun 21, 2006 16:46:29 GMT -4
I don't like this author too much, but hey - it's a fantasy article...take it for what it's worth (not much)...
Back burner no more, it's time to refocus on roto
June 21, 2006
By Larry Dobrow
Special to CBS SportsLine.com
Who the heck has time for roto baseball nowadays? In the past week, I spent my hours self-identifying as a Socceroo and psychoanalyzing Mickelson being Mickelson. I dispelled the notion that there are oil wells in Edmonton -– the "oil" in the team's moniker apparently refers to some kind of Kahlúa-based concoction –- and cracked many a hee-hee-hee-larious gibe about the Mavericks' difficulties down south ("it's not the Heat –- it's the humidity!!").
You'll forgive me, then, if a handful of roto plot lines -– Scott Rolen driving his batting average into Ichiro/Gwynn territory, Joe Mauer seemingly netting three hits per game, Ryan Howard treating non-Mariano Yankees pitchers like Naomi Campbell treats chambermaids –- escaped my attention. I took no notice of Matt Cain's near no-no, nor did I delight in the back-to-back shutouts slung by the Rockies' newly uppity staff.
No, the week was all about crumb-encrusted playoff beards and dressing for home playoff basketball games as if attending one of Diddy's Hamptons cotillions. So take all advice proffered herein in the casual, neo-ignoramus spirit in which it is conveyed. Thank you for your kind consideration.
Cut your losses
Mark Prior, Chicago Cubs: He can't possibly be as bad as he was against the Tigers last Sunday, when he served up dingers with the melancholy, resigned air of a Red Lobster drone serving up a platter of rancid shrimp. But unless his heater mysteriously recaptures 6 mph, Prior's primary value will be in leagues that award points for performances in simulated games during injury rehab. That's where he's a Viking.
Livan Hernandez, Washington Nationals: Apparently averaging 189 pitches per start over the course of seven consecutive 35-start seasons will eventually compromise a hurler's effectiveness. Who knew?
Mark Mulder, St. Louis Cardinals: Despite his street cred as one of the A's holy trinity of aces, Mulder hasn't been much more than a league-average starter for a few seasons now. His strikeouts are down, his walks are up and his bread-and-butter heater has lost its zip. Every mention of the indefensible-at-the-time-but-even-worse-now trade in which the Cards acquired him (Mulder for Dan Haren, Kiko Calero and superstar-to-be Daric Barton) will prompt quite an unpleasant burning sensation in fans' nether regions for the next seven or eight years.
Be patient, fella
Curtis Granderson, Detroit Tigers: I drafted this guy in each of my 438 mixed leagues, figuring that the promise of a 20-20 season would offset his past difficulties in actually making contact with pitched balls (81 strikeouts in 270 at-bats). The power numbers have been there; what concerns me is that he has emerged as the worst percentage base stealer this side of Brady Clark. Nonetheless, I take solace in the motivational bouquets consistently thrown in his direction by frisky skipper Jim Leyland ("Curtis works so, so, so, so hard. So hard. So. Hard. Hard. So."). The big numbers will follow.
Jason Lane, Houston Astros: Anybody else notice how he's been knocking around the ball this month (.920 OPS in June)? No? You're not alone -– his manager clearly hasn't. At some point, it's going to dawn on the Houston front office that the team needs a hitter or two, as opposed to a gruff superstar mercenary pitcher with a disturbing fondness for garishly patterned shirts.
For real
Justin Morneau, Minnesota Twins: Finally. Waiting for this guy to harness his Thor-like power potential was like waiting with waiters for a performance of Waiting for Godot through several false fire alarms and anthrax scares. Now that he has officially arrived with a monster June, expect to hear the word "clobber" with increasing frequency during Twins highlight packages.
Ricky Nolasco, Florida Marlins: In the second installment of our "Marlins players I've never seen play and know nothing about, except that their numbers sure look purty" series, I present to you Ricky Nolasco, whose first name might actually be Ricardo or Ralph or Rutger. Some of his recent success has come against nancy-boy lineups (the Cubs, the Padres), but he keeps the ball in the park and has been positively stingy with the bases on balls. Stingy, I say! Pitchers have succeeded by doing far less. Stingy!
Sell high
Bernie Williams, New York Yankees: I love everything about Bernie Williams. I celebrate his successes and mourn his setbacks as if they were my own. His very presence in the lineup warms the cockles of my Siberia-frosty heart; he remains as character-alicious a guy as he was during his 1995-2002 heyday (somebody remind me again why he didn't receive MVP consideration in 1999). But the list of skills he no longer possesses includes speed, power, range and athleticism. Bernie's not a candidate for euthanasia, but he's also not going to have many more weeks like his last one (.481 BA). For what it's worth, manly man authorities ranging from Justice Antonin Scalia to Slayer have ruled that it is OK to cry when you part ways with him.
Joe Crede, Chicago White Sox: Crede boasts an .857 OPS and a mere 23 strikeouts in 238 at-bats; A-Rod is at .900/63 in 254. I'm just sayin', is all.
Buy low
Gil Meche, Seattle Mariners: Mariner fans have been waiting for him to arrive for years, enduring elbow hiccup after shoulder burp after Big-Papi-related nervous collapse. His value, should it materialize, will come in the form of a trade to a contender –- quite possibly the Metsies, who realize that El Duque and "Oil of" Alay Soler aren't exactly primo long-term solutions. Meche's 69 Ks in 86 innings aren't anything to shake a stick at, either, unless the stick in question is a bat.
Jeremy Sowers, Cleveland Indians: He'll make his major league debut on Sunday, approximately five months after he was ready to assume a role in the Cleveland rotation. Great control and decent stuff, plus the potential for some groovy rhymes ("Sowers Power" or "Sowers the Mower," depending on how he pronounces it) should he pitch anywhere near well as expected.
Howie Kendrick, Los Anaheimmerdingers: I will keep listing him here every week until the Angels surrender to common sense and bring him back up. The guy is batting nearly .400 in Triple-A, and the big-league club can't buy a run. Am I missing something here? Did he boink the GM's daughter, or maybe set the dugout aflame during a botched hot-foot? For a franchise that can lay claim to being one of baseball's 10 best, the Angels make self-limiting decisions with alarming regularity.
Back burner no more, it's time to refocus on roto
June 21, 2006
By Larry Dobrow
Special to CBS SportsLine.com
Who the heck has time for roto baseball nowadays? In the past week, I spent my hours self-identifying as a Socceroo and psychoanalyzing Mickelson being Mickelson. I dispelled the notion that there are oil wells in Edmonton -– the "oil" in the team's moniker apparently refers to some kind of Kahlúa-based concoction –- and cracked many a hee-hee-hee-larious gibe about the Mavericks' difficulties down south ("it's not the Heat –- it's the humidity!!").
You'll forgive me, then, if a handful of roto plot lines -– Scott Rolen driving his batting average into Ichiro/Gwynn territory, Joe Mauer seemingly netting three hits per game, Ryan Howard treating non-Mariano Yankees pitchers like Naomi Campbell treats chambermaids –- escaped my attention. I took no notice of Matt Cain's near no-no, nor did I delight in the back-to-back shutouts slung by the Rockies' newly uppity staff.
No, the week was all about crumb-encrusted playoff beards and dressing for home playoff basketball games as if attending one of Diddy's Hamptons cotillions. So take all advice proffered herein in the casual, neo-ignoramus spirit in which it is conveyed. Thank you for your kind consideration.
Cut your losses
Mark Prior, Chicago Cubs: He can't possibly be as bad as he was against the Tigers last Sunday, when he served up dingers with the melancholy, resigned air of a Red Lobster drone serving up a platter of rancid shrimp. But unless his heater mysteriously recaptures 6 mph, Prior's primary value will be in leagues that award points for performances in simulated games during injury rehab. That's where he's a Viking.
Livan Hernandez, Washington Nationals: Apparently averaging 189 pitches per start over the course of seven consecutive 35-start seasons will eventually compromise a hurler's effectiveness. Who knew?
Mark Mulder, St. Louis Cardinals: Despite his street cred as one of the A's holy trinity of aces, Mulder hasn't been much more than a league-average starter for a few seasons now. His strikeouts are down, his walks are up and his bread-and-butter heater has lost its zip. Every mention of the indefensible-at-the-time-but-even-worse-now trade in which the Cards acquired him (Mulder for Dan Haren, Kiko Calero and superstar-to-be Daric Barton) will prompt quite an unpleasant burning sensation in fans' nether regions for the next seven or eight years.
Be patient, fella
Curtis Granderson, Detroit Tigers: I drafted this guy in each of my 438 mixed leagues, figuring that the promise of a 20-20 season would offset his past difficulties in actually making contact with pitched balls (81 strikeouts in 270 at-bats). The power numbers have been there; what concerns me is that he has emerged as the worst percentage base stealer this side of Brady Clark. Nonetheless, I take solace in the motivational bouquets consistently thrown in his direction by frisky skipper Jim Leyland ("Curtis works so, so, so, so hard. So hard. So. Hard. Hard. So."). The big numbers will follow.
Jason Lane, Houston Astros: Anybody else notice how he's been knocking around the ball this month (.920 OPS in June)? No? You're not alone -– his manager clearly hasn't. At some point, it's going to dawn on the Houston front office that the team needs a hitter or two, as opposed to a gruff superstar mercenary pitcher with a disturbing fondness for garishly patterned shirts.
For real
Justin Morneau, Minnesota Twins: Finally. Waiting for this guy to harness his Thor-like power potential was like waiting with waiters for a performance of Waiting for Godot through several false fire alarms and anthrax scares. Now that he has officially arrived with a monster June, expect to hear the word "clobber" with increasing frequency during Twins highlight packages.
Ricky Nolasco, Florida Marlins: In the second installment of our "Marlins players I've never seen play and know nothing about, except that their numbers sure look purty" series, I present to you Ricky Nolasco, whose first name might actually be Ricardo or Ralph or Rutger. Some of his recent success has come against nancy-boy lineups (the Cubs, the Padres), but he keeps the ball in the park and has been positively stingy with the bases on balls. Stingy, I say! Pitchers have succeeded by doing far less. Stingy!
Sell high
Bernie Williams, New York Yankees: I love everything about Bernie Williams. I celebrate his successes and mourn his setbacks as if they were my own. His very presence in the lineup warms the cockles of my Siberia-frosty heart; he remains as character-alicious a guy as he was during his 1995-2002 heyday (somebody remind me again why he didn't receive MVP consideration in 1999). But the list of skills he no longer possesses includes speed, power, range and athleticism. Bernie's not a candidate for euthanasia, but he's also not going to have many more weeks like his last one (.481 BA). For what it's worth, manly man authorities ranging from Justice Antonin Scalia to Slayer have ruled that it is OK to cry when you part ways with him.
Joe Crede, Chicago White Sox: Crede boasts an .857 OPS and a mere 23 strikeouts in 238 at-bats; A-Rod is at .900/63 in 254. I'm just sayin', is all.
Buy low
Gil Meche, Seattle Mariners: Mariner fans have been waiting for him to arrive for years, enduring elbow hiccup after shoulder burp after Big-Papi-related nervous collapse. His value, should it materialize, will come in the form of a trade to a contender –- quite possibly the Metsies, who realize that El Duque and "Oil of" Alay Soler aren't exactly primo long-term solutions. Meche's 69 Ks in 86 innings aren't anything to shake a stick at, either, unless the stick in question is a bat.
Jeremy Sowers, Cleveland Indians: He'll make his major league debut on Sunday, approximately five months after he was ready to assume a role in the Cleveland rotation. Great control and decent stuff, plus the potential for some groovy rhymes ("Sowers Power" or "Sowers the Mower," depending on how he pronounces it) should he pitch anywhere near well as expected.
Howie Kendrick, Los Anaheimmerdingers: I will keep listing him here every week until the Angels surrender to common sense and bring him back up. The guy is batting nearly .400 in Triple-A, and the big-league club can't buy a run. Am I missing something here? Did he boink the GM's daughter, or maybe set the dugout aflame during a botched hot-foot? For a franchise that can lay claim to being one of baseball's 10 best, the Angels make self-limiting decisions with alarming regularity.